Some people are meant for each other. And others just aren’t. Some make us better, and some only bring us down. Nevertheless, we cannot choose the people we fall in love with.
There is a saying that “opposites attract”, but here is what happens, when an empathic person is in a relationship with his/her opposite – a narcissist:
1. An empathic person falls in love with a narcissistic person, and it is the start of their relationship. An empath will fully commit to the relationship and makes an effort to make the relationship work.
2. The empath is blinded by the butterflies and a fake special bond. The narcissist creates the illusion of a strong commitment, and the empath falls deeper and deeper into this relationship.
3. Sometimes it might seem that the narcissist wants the relationship as much as the empath does and is even willing to work hard for it. Actually, they just want someone, who will devote their time, energy, and love while being under their control.
4. Over time the empath starts to depend on the relationship and the other person. The empath feels incomplete and insecure without their partner. The narcissist will make them feel like they can’t handle life on her own and that she needs him in her life; they use emotional violence to control their empathic partner to feel more powerful. At the same time, the empath becomes weaker and more uncertain of things.
5. The narcissist will portray themselves as the victim. They will talk about their past and make-up stories so that the empath will feel more connected to them and give the narcissist more support and care. Narcissists enjoy the attention and the compassion they get from empaths.
6. The empath will try to see the positive traits in the narcissist, and because of their big heart and compassion, the empath tries to understand where the narcissist is coming from and why they act the way they do. The empath knows that everyone has their own ways and they try to respect that.
7. The relationship is all about the narcissist and their needs. The empath will slowly see that, but they are too afraid to talk about their desires and needs. They know that the narcissists might get mad at them and they don’t want to cause any conflicts.
8. The empath will try to solve all the problems with love and affection. But the more time and energy they put into the relationship, the more the narcissist will feel powerful. Finally, everything goes in the way the narcissist wants, and the empath has no control over the situation. On the outside, the relationship looks healthy and happy.
9. Finally, the empath will say something, because they feel suppressed and suffocated by the narcissist. The narcissist, of course, does not like it and tries to turn it against the empath. They blame the empath for all the mistakes and unhappiness. The narcissist makes them feel selfish and unfair.
10. The narcissist always needs attention and drama around them. They can’t stand it when they’re not the center of attention. When there is an argument, the narcissist might storm off or go and bad-mouth the empath to their friends. The narcissist always believes that they’re the victim.
11. The narcissist will deny all their mistakes and will label the empath as “crazy” and “overdramatic”, especially when they want to talk about their problems and what’s been bugging them.
12. As mentioned above, over time the narcissist has made the empath insecure and confused, so the empath begins to wonder if all this is their own fault. The empath has a hard time understanding their partner’s actions
13. The empath will not understand that they are being manipulated because they have a pure and innocent soul. The narcissist will twist the empath’s words and make the whole situation look like the empath’s fault.
Everyone has to make their own mistakes and learn from them. It’s easy to talk, but hard to put into practice. Later it is, of course, easy to think that what a fool you were, but when you are in that certain situation and in love, you are not rational.