For many, Facebook can be a great way to connect with loved ones and keep up with people you don’t get to see all the time. In a lot of ways, it can be a supportive place to share what’s going on in your life.
But sometimes, you want to post something online you don’t want everyoneon your Facebook friends list to see. Sometimes, you want people to know you are struggling, but don’t want to invite judgment in when you’re feeling at your most vulnerable.
This is a feeling many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have experienced. It can be hard to open up online when you fear being called “dramatic” or “attention seeking.”
We wanted to know what people with borderline personality disorder want to post on Facebook, but feel like they can’t, so we asked our Mighty community to share one photo they wish they could post about their BPD. It’s important to remember BPD looks different for each person who experiences it. Whatever way your BPD manifests, you deserve to talk about it. We hope these photos let you know you are not alone in your struggle.
Here’s what they had to say:
1. “This is a picture I saved of a side by side. These pictures were taken roughly seven hours apart. The left is in the evening after sobbing for an hour about just the heavy feelings all the time and the right is earlier that day right after a great job interview. I felt so good about myself, and then I felt so unbelievably awful.” — Allegra H.
2. “This is the photo I wish I could share on Facebook but can’t. This is just a fraction of what trying to find the right medication combination looks like. It’s a long, frustrating game of trial and error. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) may be the gold standard for treating BPD, but medication can also be used to treat it along with comorbid disorders. I also have major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and potentially depersonalization/derealization disorder. Needless to say, I’m on a lot of medications — five at present. I wish I could share this to let people know that while I may not be making much progress, I’m fighting for my life here and these are some of my best weapons.” — Vanessa L.
3. “Impulse control is a major issue with borderline personality disorder, and so it shouldn’t be surprising that one of the ways it has exhibited itself throughout my life is with trichotillomania, which is an impulse control disorder that often coincides with anxiety and personality disorders. I have dealt with it most of my life, and though it has most often affected my facial hair, it has also required me to wear new and interesting hair styles over the years in order to hide the bald spots.” — A.S. Minor
4. “My friends and I are all in a group chat on Whatsapp. Constantly posting selfies of fun things we are up to… At a music concert, out for dinner, getting takeaways… All those everyday things. I was at a follow up meeting at a psychiatry ward after being admitted for attempted suicide a few weeks previously and was feeling quite bitter that day (none of my friends at that time knew what I was going through) I felt like just posting the photo in the chat and letting them all know… but I never did.” — Jane B.
5. “I created this picture when I was feeling really down and depressed, with no sense of direction and sense of being. I wanted a visual representation of how some of the BPD symptoms can make me feel. Empty. Distorted. Alone. Unrecognizable. Depressed. I want to people to understand the reality of this disorder, but I’m too afraid to share it sometimes. I don’t want to seem attention seeking, exaggerating or negative. But this is truly the reality of the disorder, and I should be able to speak of it without stigma.” — Kellyann N.