14. You are a serial romantic
Burgo also identifies a group of narcissists he calls “seductive.”
These people fall in and out of love quickly and easily, often with people they don’t know very well. They think their partner is absolutely perfect — a complement to their own perfection — until reality sets in, they realize their partner is flawed, and they end the relationship.
15. You cheat in relationships
Psychologists Joshua Foster at the University of South Alabama and W. Keith Campbell at the University of Georgia found that narcissists are more likely to cheat once they think their partners are committed.
They also seem to get a thrill out of convincing others to engage in promiscuous sexual acts that they normally do not participate in.
16. People dump you after you’ve been dating for about four months
Through his research, Campbell found that the four-month mark — the apparent satisfaction peak in any dating relationship — is typically how long it takes for someone dating a narcissist to see their true colors.
17. You put some people on pedestals
Malkin says the logic goes like this: “If I find someone perfect to be close to, maybe some of their perfection will rub off on me, and I’ll become perfect by association.”
With that ideal in mind, narcissists cozy up to people they find perfect — be it a colleague or a crush — and then get really disappointed when that person isn’t as impeccable as they imagined.
Because for a narcissist, everything has to be perfect.
18. You like to put other people down
Narcissistic people intentionally put down others in order to maintain a high positive image of themselves.
“Seeking admiration is like a drug for narcissists,” said Mitja D. Back, a psychologist at Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz, Germany. “In the long run it becomes difficult because others won’t applaud them, so they always have to search for new acquaintances from whom they get the next fix.”
This also explains why narcissists typically maintain only weak relationships.
19. Your parents ignored and adored you
According to Sigmund Freud, a combination of parental rejection and excessive admiration is more strongly linked to adult narcissism than if one childhood experience consistently existed without the other.
The inconsistency and whiplash of the parent’s attitude towards their children will eventually cause for a “deep craving for admiration” and lead the narcissistic to lead a life searching for fleeting ego boosts.
20. You choose your friends to look cool or take advantage of people
Narcissistic men and women have different ways of choosing friends.
Women choose male friends with high social status so they can feel a sense of worthiness. Guys choose bros who can “wingman” for them when they’re trying to pick up girls.
21. You always have to be in control
Just as narcissists hate to talk about their feelings, “they can’t stand to be at the mercy of other people’s preferences,” Malkin says. “It reminds them that they aren’t invulnerable or completely independent — that, in fact, they might have to ask for what they want — and even worse, people may not feel like meeting the request.”
This is why they can be controlling without getting angry. In the case of romantic relationships, narcissists control people with disapproving glances, calls to change plans, and chronic lateness. This allows narcissists to undermine other people’s ability to make choices. By doing that, narcissists maintain their sense of total autonomy — which they so desperately need.
22. You’re willing to tolerate narcissistic traits in others
2016 research led by Ulrike Maaß at Humboldt University of Berlin, Germany found that best friends tended to display similar levels of narcissism. The greatest similarity was found between male friends high in narcissism.
The authors suggest that one of many possible reasons for this phenomenon is that narcissists are “less repelled” by narcissistic personality traits in others because they generally like themselves.