2. THEY NEED CONSTANT “SUPPLY”
A user on Quora explained their experience of being married to a narcissist:
“Like an oxygen tank to a Scuba diver, we just give them the supply of what they need at that time, and, like the oxygen tank, once they have no more use for us, we’re simply discarded without a second thought.”
The term Narcissistic supply was introduced by psychoanalyst Otto Fenichel in 1938. Its definition is: “a type of admiration, interpersonal support, or sustenance drawn by an individual from his or her environment and essential to their self-esteem.”
Once their ‘supply’ is out, it’s out. Unfortunately, so is the narcissist’s partner.
3. THEIR PARTNER IS ONLY HUMAN
Simply put, if the narcissist doesn’t end the relationship, their partner may (and hopefully does.) A narcissist’s complete lack of empathy, manipulative nature, and verbal insults are not at all conducive to a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Unfortunately, narcissists have a deviously charming way of “reeling” someone back in. Why would they want to do this? Because they’re afraid of their Narcissistic supply running out. Pretty twisted.
Hopefully, the other person will see the narcissist for what he or she is – and move on before their life is in shambles.
4. A PERSON IS NOT AN ISLAND
If their partner can’t call a spade a spade, someone else just may. Most of us have a support system – family and friends – who will provide thoughtful insight into a person. Sadly, too often it’s a therapist or an expert on personality disorders (which narcissist’s have) who convey the truth about the individual.
If there’s one piece of advice to give here, it’s to seek insight from “people readers” within one’s social circle. And, most importantly, listen for recurring opinions.
5. THERE’S ALWAYS “SOMETHING MORE”
“There’s always something more” explains a narcissist’s life in four words. “Nothing is good enough” is an appropriate second option.
Narcissists needs are always in flux. That is, they’re never satisfied with anything for very long. and their decisions are never final. When combined with a highly materialistic nature, it’s no surprise that narcissists are never satisfied.
Here are a few anonymous quotes that Preston Ni, a behavioral psychologist, has heard in his communications with NPD-diagnosed individuals:
“My accomplishments are everything.”
“I dyed my hair blond and enlarged by breasts to get men’s attention – and to make other women jealous.”
“I never want to be looked upon as poor. My fiancé and I each drive a Mercedes. The best man at our upcoming wedding also drives a Mercedes.”