4. A narcissist uses anger to avoid feeling deeper emotions.
It is “safer” for a narcissist to be angry than it is to feel the sadness and fear associated with his or her conditional self-worth. This coping mechanism of anger is so deep-rooted for narcissists as a means to protect themselves from their own vulnerability that it has become an automatic reaction.
5. A narcissist operates from an all-or-nothing perfectionistic viewpoint.
For a narcissist, something is either right OR wrong; a person’s behavior is either nice OR mean; he or she is either revered or ridiculed. There is no gray area with a narcissist.
6. A narcissist has his or her own set of rules.
We all have our own sets of rules regarding how others should act. A narcissist’s rules are written in stone in their minds, and they get extremely upset when people do not abide by them. Why? Because they view a deviation from their rules as a slight against them because they think you think less of them.
7. A narcissist’s behavior has little to do with you.
Ever noticed how you can say the same thing to a narcissist and one time they laugh but another time they blow up? That is because it is a narcissist’s fragile ego that propels their interactions. And that ego can become more delicate with stress, which can manifest in the form of excessive work obligations, sensing they are being taken advantage of, fatigue, or any other of the other countless sources of stress in our society.
Can you help a narcissist?
There is nothing you personally can do to make a narcissist feel truly at peace. What they need is to cultivate their self-worth so that it is unconditional—based on their values and strengths instead of how others react to them. Sadly, the typical narcissist’s ego is so fragile that even hearing this could send them into a downward spiral.
That’s the bad news.