3. You start to feel energetic after you are away from them for a few days or a few weeks, however long it takes you to fully “detox” from them.
When you’ve removed yourself from the toxic person and have had time to psychologically “reset,” you feel much lighter, happier and more productive. It’s almost as if a great weight has been lifted and you’re now able to move forward into greater clarity and renewed strength. However, if you ever do interact with them again, you might find yourself once more swept away by their crazymaking chaos.
4. Even a simple conversation with them over something thatshould have a simple solution leaves you feeling disoriented and confused.
You find yourself explaining basic human decency, fairness, and integrity to them over and over. They refuse to give you straight answers and they refuse to honor you as a person who deserves consideration and respect. They project their toxic traits onto you, they become overly defensive about their uncalled for behavior, and they are indifferent to the pain you may be experiencing due to their neglect or abuse.
5. They’re like a needle to a balloon and their parasitic nature can make you feel like you’re becoming toxic, too.
Emotional vampires feed off of your positive energy while leaving you malnourished. When you’re feeling joyful, self-assured and confident, they try to come around to “deflate” you with put-downs, criticism or an underhanded tactic to sabotage or undermine you.
Interestingly, just as mythical vampires can “bite” their victims and turn them into vampires, I find that the longer you’re around an emotional vampire, the more you start to pick up on some of their toxic habits and emotional states.
For victims who’ve been terrorized by narcissists, we call this getting “narcissistic fleas.” It’s a temporary state of taking on some of the toxic traits you’ve been exposed to. That’s why it’s so important to get as far away as you possibly can, especially if you’re an empath who internalizes the emotions of others like a sponge. The last thing you need is to become so toxic yourself in response to these types that you forget where the predator begins and you end.
6. There is no such thing as reciprocity with them; you are here to fulfill their needs while they neglect yours.
Emotional vampires are one-sided. That means whenever you’re excessively giving to them (as empaths are likely to do), they’re rejoicing in taking from you. Their conversations will usually center them and feature them as the one and only person who is important. They make decisions that affect you without ever considering how you would feel about them. They micromanage and control you to make themselves feel superior and powerful. They are the end-all, be-all of everything.
7. They put you down and take pleasure in sabotaging you.
Emotional vampires on the higher end of the narcissistic spectrum tend to be pathologically envious of their victims. When they see that you’re thriving and successful, it sparks jealousy in them. They want your resources for themselves and they covet whatever you have. Rather than celebrating your success, they attempt to diminish it, undermine it or subtly detract from it in whatever way they can.
They can go so far as to create elaborate schemes or resorting to petty ploys to do this. Whether that means praising someone else, comparing you in a demeaning manner to others, or attempting to “hide” you and make you less visible to those who may value you, they’re always out to make a name for themselves and one-up anyone who threatens to take the spotlight away from them.