8 Signs You’re Attracted To Narcissists
You’re Sceptical If Everything They Say Is True
Granted, they’ll probably be more refined with their fibs than the cast of the The Big Bang Theory, but if you get a sneaky suspicion that it’s all a bit too good to be true – it probably is.
Narcissists put self-inflation above reality and truth, both of which are boring to them
“It’s often very hard to get a sense of the truth with a narcissist,” seconds Toby. “A narcissist will be cavalier with the truth – all that counts is that they are getting enough of the limelight.”
If your gut starts to feel there’s something suspect going on, take note rather than dismissing it as nothing (or blaming it on last night’s burrito).
“Narcissists put self-inflation above reality and truth, both of which are boring to them. They are driven to use this distorted reflection of themselves to cover up profound insecurities.”
Your Life Feels As Dramatic As A Netflix Plot
Feel knackered? Equivalent to a post-gym, mid-Norovirus, utterly hungover state of ‘meh’?
You’ll feel drained and worn down by their constant, high maintenance demands
One of the most obvious physical signs of dating narcissists is that they’ll leave you spent – and not in a smug, up-all-night-doing-naked-stuff way.
“You’ll feel drained and worn down by their constant, high maintenance demands,” warns Toby. “Your role is to provide the other person with all the treats and attention they need. This might be OK to start with, but it can become exhausting and demoralising, like you’re second best.”
Anyone else need a nap now?
You’re An empathetic Person
Here’s the real kicker: the main social group drawn to narcissists is their polar opposite – the kind, nice-guy, empathetic types who end up trampled all over like some gruesome stampede scene from Jurassic Park. Empaths are pretty understanding people, and have a lot of time for others. Narcissists like lots and lots and lots of time from others. And therein likes the crutch – it’s toxic.
Narcissists know exactly what to do and say to pull your heartstrings, and your natural reaction is to help them fix their issues. Dr Martha Stout, author of The Sociopath Next Door, agrees that the most reliable sign of meeting a sociopath is someone who appeals to your sympathy (i.e. mentioning how badly they’ve been treated in the past).
So, be kind, but be wary – remember how cute that tiny Velociprator looked as it hatched out of the egg? Less so when it’s going for your delicate parts.
You Feel Like You’re Being Timed
A relationship isn’t an episode of Jeopardy!, but according to Preston Ni, author of Are You Too Nice?, narcissists frequently want things done immediately. That could be replying to a text – leave them hanging with a ‘…’ at your peril – or doing things exactly as per their instructions.
He suggests saying “no” or “let me think about it” to gauge their reaction. If you’re met with persuasion, impatience, anger, ridicule, a personal attack or a passive-aggressive cold shoulder, you’re likely dealing with a narcissist. And they do not deal well with not getting what they want. Beware, Uber Eats drivers.
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