Nowadays, narcissism has become a popular word. Sometimes it is used to describe a individualism and self-centeredness (What is good for ME and how to get what I want?). Other times the word to describe a lack of capacity in somebody to care about others.
Nevertheless, what you have to know is that narcissism is not just a slight deviation from empathy that can be excused with the drive for success. The truth is that narcissism is a serious personality disorder with great toxic power over any relationship.
Having a relationship with a narcissist will not be a bad experience – in the beginning! Just the opposite. It will be exciting and passionate. You will feel completely understood and seen, probably you will get to enjoy the best treatment in your entire life. Initially.
During the initial stages of the relationship the narcissist will worship you, putting the world at your feet. They will call and text you frequently, sharing openly how much they admire you, how smitten they are by you, how indispensable and unique you are to them. They will flatter you and want to be around you at all times. This technique is called “lovebombing” and its aim is to suck you into a very dangerous state of emotional dependence on their constant praise, attention and validation.
And when they are sure that you have successfully fallen under their spell, hell will break lose. For you. You will feel terrible without being able to quite explain why, you will feel guilty, wrong, selfish and what not. And you will fight for more of the old tasty praise and care they used to give you. You will find yourself apologizing for what you have done and what you are. You will be obsessed with the memory of how great things used to be between you and you will be ready to do almost anything to get back there.
Here Are The 3 Main Things That A Narcissist Will Do To Make You Feel Completely Lost And Shattered – And Never Let You Know It Was Them All Along:
1. Devaluation After Worship
After the idealization phase is over – which usually happens abruptly, without any signs – you will be thrust off your pedestal. The narcissist will unexpectedly (and inexplicably) become cold and distant. It is then that they will start criticizing you. They will compare you to other people – always to your disadvantage.
When you try to talk to them they will give you the silent treatment and make sure you know how gravely disappointed they are with you. You will then come to believe you are at fault and you will make attempts to deserve their former sweetness again – to push the relationship back to the honeymoon phase.
Your desire to win them back will lead to the narcissist calling you needy, jealous and suffocating. Occasionally, the narcissist will bathe you in the loving behavior they demonstrated in the beginning of the relationship. And then they will go back to stonewalling, disinterest and inconsistency. Making you feel thoroughly unimportant after you “meant the world to them”.