My wife’s ultrasound turned up something abnormal in the baby’s heart — an otherwise innocuous feature that correlates with genetic conditions such as Down syndrome. A series of tests confirmed that our son indeed had Down syndrome. We were given the option of abortion, but my wife, Jan, already regarded him as our baby, and a few months later Aaron was born.
The first days after the diagnosis were hard. We thought about our son’s future, and our future. We went through a period of grieving. But we soon came to accept that Aaron would have Down syndrome, and to accept him as a member of our family. By the time Aaron was born, it was a joyous occasion. Today, almost nine years later, Aaron is an affectionate boy with blond hair and a crooked smile. He is passionate about hockey (we’re Canadian after all) and about animals. If he could grow up to be anything, he would probably be a veterinarian.
Many parents make a different choice. In the United States, an estimated 67 percent of fetuses with prenatally diagnosed Down syndrome are aborted. In Canada, the rate could be even higher, though there aren’t any reliable studies on it. This has become a front in the American abortion-rights debate, and bills have been passed in North Dakota, Ohio, Indiana and Louisiana (and introduced in Utah) that make it illegal for a doctor to perform an abortion because of a positive prenatal test for Down syndrome.
My wife and I are pro-choice and oppose placing limits like these on abortion. Nonetheless, I wish more people would include children with Down syndrome in their families. For this to happen, we don’t need new laws; we just need more people to choose to have such children.
I understand the emotional turmoil that a prenatal diagnosis can bring. But after parenting Aaron through difficulties and joys and seeing the curiosity and delight he brings to our lives, I wonder why more people do not choose to bring children like him into the world.
People with cognitive disabilities are, of course, commonly subject to ridicule, even by political leaders. I don’t mean just President Trump — President Barack Obama once made an offensive joke about the Special Olympics (he apologized). People with Down syndrome have tried to counter bias against them by speaking out about how they contribute to their communities. But acceptance in our communities seems scarcely possible without acceptance into our families.