Can these two personalities find an equilibrium?
That, I’m afraid is highly unlikely. Over time the target of this insidious abuse will get worn down. Just like a carpet that gets constantly trod on, its’ once beauty and soft touch are now lackluster and barren of fiber. They will get fed up with constantly being blamed when things don’t run smoothly.
They’ll get fed up with being the only one fighting for this relationship. Sometimes this process takes years but eventually most realise that there is a point of no return. It’s either sink or swim. As a captain of a ship performs his last duty by ensuring the safety of the passengers and crew before saving himself, the person seeking freedom ensures the safety of their children and loved ones, before jumping overboard and swimming for the shore.
Some may think that they can remain on-board and hope that the ship will remain afloat but often the damage is too severe that sailing on to the sunset is not an option.
Abandoning ship is not failure. It’s not defeat. It’s taking positive steps to overcome a situation that has become unsustainable. Remaining in an unhealthy relationship with such a toxic personality is likened to signing your own death warrant. Psychological abuse takes its toll on your health, not only your mental health but your physical health.
It’s not selfish to take over the reins and start looking after yourself. You have a choice, to stay and be subjected to more of the same or give yourself a new start, a new life free from mind games and control. The choice is yours and the journey ahead will be rough at times but worth it. Calm seas never made a good sailor.
For those dealing with family members who display this type of behaviour, the advice by experts is the same. Distance yourself from the dysfunctional personality in order to gain peace and normality in your life.