27 Survivors Reveal The Sickest, Most Twisted Thing A Narcissist Did To Manipulate Them
Made me believe no one liked me.
“During our break up, he told me that none of our mutual friends liked me and that he constantly had to defend me to them when I wasn’t around. After our break up, our mutual friends were reaching out to me with genuine care and compassion, and explaining to me that it was the other way around, and that they hated the way he acts, and that they no longer associate with him.” — Lindsay
alled the people he was sleeping with “just friends.”
“He introduced me to his “just friends” coworker and insisted we become friends. We helped her leave her marriage and deal with her ex. I became suspicious and begged him not to sleep with her. He told me I was paranoid. Her ex insisted they were having an affair. I told him he was crazy. Of course, it turned out that my now ex-husband was sleeping with her. I took pictures at her son’s birthday party. We hung out without my ex. I feel sorry for her now.” — Ginger
“So many. He once left his cell phone on the table set to not turn off with a text from the woman he cheated on me with and discarded me for the first time. But of course, they were still “just friends.” Discarded me again within a month of it for her. Left mail and only that mail repeatedly around that had her son’s name on it who used his address to avoid child support. Always had a quick excuse. Claimed I just was over thinking or creating things in my head that weren’t there when I questioned both these things.” — Desiree
Complimented me and then used those compliments as excuses to justify abuse.
“My ex would compliment me randomly and “thank” me for all that I did as a parent and a wife, only to turn around and use those very same compliments against me. He’d use them as leverage to justify his abusive behavior. Example: If I were to call him out for negative comments or false accusations he made towards me, he’d deny it and spin it around by reminding me that he just told me the other day how much he appreciated me cooking dinner or helping our son with his homework. This would shift the subject to me being the one making false accusations/negative comments about his behavior instead, claiming that I never appreciate how ‘good’ he is to me.” — Ashley
Deprived me of sleep with crazymaking arguments.
“He would create huge arguments out of thin air. Then, he would walk back in the next day as if nothing had happened. I would still be licking my wounds and recovering from no sleep because of all the ruminations as a result.” — Karen
Manipulated me with sex.
“He would manipulate me with sex. After a nasty fight, he would charm me and have sex with me even knowing I did not want to. I just felt forced to do it in order to bring peace to our marriage.” —Cynthia
Got me pregnant to get me to stay.
“He got me pregnant, knowing that would make me stay. I had planned to divorce him.” — Renee
“We had just talked about trying to have another baby and waiting a year to start. The only time in 20 years that he “forgot” the condom was about a week later when he knew I would be fertile. And yes, I became pregnant.” — Bonnie
Guilt-tripped me and made me dependent on her approval.
“My sister was my narcissist. From an early age, she would control me by playing on my love of family. To get me to do what she wanted me to do she would say, “Go ahead, just forget about it, but we aren’t sisters anymore. You love me and you need me, but I’m just fine without you.” I was always extremely fearful that I would need her. She would do things for me to ingratiate herself, making me feel dependent on her. Then she would take it all away. It was a very confusing way to grow up. I watched her go through friends in the same way. She would idolize them, work her way into every detail of their lives, and then she would leave them.” — Jill
Blamed it on the meds.
“When I left him the first time, he said that his awful behavior was because of the Oxycontin he was taking. He told me that his doctor had put him on a new medication and that his behavior had changed and he wanted us to try again. Two weeks after I moved back in with him, he told me that he had seen his doctor who not only put him back on Oxycontin but actually increased the dosage to higher than what he was on before I left. Shortly after, he told me he didn’t love me and only wanted me back to punish me for leaving. It was 7 months of hell including sexual assault and verbal/emotional abuse before I could get out again.” — Shawna
Threatened to commit suicide.
“First of all, he threatened to commit suicide if I didn’t marry him. I was young, naive, afraid, insecure. He manipulated me into marrying him. After that, lying, cheating, living a double all along, from the beginning. For the whole 40 years. Deep within me, I knew something was not normal, but he had me under his control, playing mind games, telling me he loved me and promising how he would always be there to take care of me. How I could not make it without him. Kept me from having friends. Trying to keep me from speaking when we were out in public places. The list goes on and on.” — Carmen
“He held a gun to his head and said that he’d kill himself, make it look like murder to ensure I was to blame if I didn’t shoot myself after. He’d tell his family and our close friends that we had true love, yet behind my back tell them I was crazy suicidal and he was doing the best he could to help me. I have never been suicidal. This all caused my closest friends/family to lose all faith in me and totally secluded me from the outside world. Lastly, he limited me to 1 meal a day, while nursing our newborn.” — Molly
Pathological lying and drip-feeding me the truth.
“Lying about anything and everything, for his own benefit. And he was damn good at it. If I suspected something he would so easily lie right to my face. I could have a blue piece of paper and he would call it orange if it benefited him. His lies would come out as if it was the absolute truth. Never letting me know the whole truth about something, and if I questioned why it sounded odd he’d tell me not to worry or say “what are you even talking about?” Over time, his behavior made me out of tune with my own intuition and common sense I had always had before him. What a roller coaster those two years were.” — Lauren
Told me he would take care of me financially, just to control me.
“Don’t worry. I will take care of you. You can quit your job.” Worst decision I ever made. I let him take financial control under the guise of him “taking care of me.” He controlled and manipulated me through finances.”
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