40 definite things to expect in a relationship with a narcissist
Narcissists may seem charming and endearing on the surface. But their emotional abuse can leave permanent scars.
Anyone who’s about to make one of the biggest decisions of their life would want to know what to expect in the future, especially when it comes to tying the knot. It’s important to know where you stand in a relationship without being thrown in the dark, unprepared to face the challenges that arise. But if you’re about to marry a narcissist, this might be harder than you think.
Marriage is a mix of commitment and compromise, where both go hand in hand but only if your partner is just as invested in maintaining the balance. While it’s not an easy task on its own, it gets a lot harder when the other person is known to be manipulative and exceedingly demanding, with absolutely no shred of empathy.
So, here’s a look at a few things you can expect if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.
1. The concept of apology does not exist in his books.
2. He takes pride in defining terms.
3. When a conflict arises, the burden to resolve it falls on your shoulders.
4. He thrives on double-standards.
5. Your opinions or arguments are irrelevant to him.
6. Your feelings are all yours and never understood or shared by your partner.
7. People see him in a better light than you ever will.
8. Forget about enjoying your birthdays and holidays because it will somehow end up being more about him than you.
9. The relationship will lack cooperation, compromise and any sort of understanding from his end.
10. You’re undervalued and underappreciated, where strangers hold more importance than you.
11. Your expectations will hit an all-time low and you’ll simply end up being content that he’s at least committed to you.
12. Winning is never an option.
13. You will more often than not end up being his scapegoat.
14. A conversation itself becomes a challenge as he can’t handle anything that goes beyond serving him.
15. You end up dealing with his rage, insecurities, and shortcomings.
16. Every step you take requires caution as you don’t know when he’ll blow his cap.
17. You lose out on the concept of self-love as everything will revolve around him.
18. The silent treatment is a ritual in your household.
19. You’ll lose out on fragments of good memories being replaced by miserable ones.
20. The need to guide him in social interactions occurs more often than required.
21. Your relationship is a constant cycle that revolves around hope, anger, heartbreak, forgiveness, and forgetting.
22. You become the target for him to drop his troubles on.
23. Eventually blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong becomes a part of your life.
24. He preys on your weakness, making himself stronger.
25. Several instances of walking out on you and returning while pretending nothing ever happened becomes something you’ve grown used to.
26. Household responsibilities are the burden of a woman—or at least that exactly how he thinks.
27. His house, his rules. He assumes the power to come and go in his own time.
28. Holding him accountable for anything only drives him to throw a fit.
29. He beats around the bush while answering questions.
30. How your day went is not his concern or even relevant to him.
31. You are stuck in an inevitable loop of problems and concerns, not having an edge out.
32. Missing him becomes a hobby and the low self-esteem resulting from the relationship means you’re unable to change yourself.
33. Projection of behaviors on both ends up creating a friction, where you take on his rage and he blocks out your good intentions.
34. His image is crystal clear outside, where if you were to call it quits on the relationship creating a scene, people will judge you indiscriminately while he sees it fit for calling you a lunatic for putting your foot down.
35. You’re the only one realizes the reality of your situation while others seem oblivious.
36. Trauma is the only outcome of the unfortunate interpersonal relationship you exercise.
37. Counseling is a mere excuse for issues that can never be resolved with a narcissist by your side.
38. You will be drained emotionally and physically, which will lead to a state of being numb.
39. ‘No’ is not the comeback you want to throw at him as it will only fire back at you.
40. His personality is flippant and consequential
A narcissist doesn’t have to necessarily have to be a ‘he.’ A partner, parent, sibling, or even a friend could be a narcissist trying to control you.
It’s always good to have a quick comb-through of your partner’s qualities to make an informed decision afterward. Love feels good. If it makes you doubt your self-worth and hurts, it probably isn’t love. Think about your emotional wellbeing, mental health, and the kids you would want to have (if you do plan to) before deciding to settle with a narcissist.
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