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40 Things To Expect If You Marry A Narcissist

He will use your weaknesses against you.

You will experience many dramatic exits, followed by a reappearance of the N acting as if nothing unusual had ever happened.

He will act like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.

He will not do his fair share of household responsibilities.

He will come and go as he pleases.

When you try to hold him accountable he will fly into a rage.

He will not answer questions directly.

He will never ask you about your day and wish you to “have a good day.”  He will never show concern for things that you care about (unless it’s something he cares about.)

You will feel stuck and unable to leave him.

You will miss him and wait for him all the time.

He will project his bad behaviors onto you and you will project your good intentions onto him – neither is accurate.

When you finally break because of his crazy making behaviors and the insanity of the relationship, he will call you are a lunatic, others will think you are a lunatic, and you, yourself, will believe that you are just as bad as him (realize, there is no moral equivalence between expressing frustration and intentional abuse.)

No one else will see it (except maybe the kids.) This will cause you to question your reality.

The entire experience will result in trauma for you because it is interpersonal violence.

You will begin to feel crazy; then, over time, you will begin to feel numb.

If you go to couples counseling it will not work, and will most likely back fire on you.  (Please realize you do not have a marriage problem, your partner has a mental illness.)

You will pay a big price should you ever tell your loved one, “No.”

I could go on and on and on, but 40 points are enough for now.  You get the picture.

I am using the pronoun, “He” when these problems could apply to either gender.  Remember, there is no “one size fits all” description of anyone, even a narcissist.  These behaviors are general and in degrees, depending on the unique personality of your loved one.  That being said, it really is amazing how similar these people are.

Even if your narcissist is a parent, the relationship dynamics tend to be the same as with a narcissistic spouse.

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