Are you dating a narcissist? The five warning signs to look out for revealed
Even the kindest and most caring of people can be selfish sometimes, but could the person you’re in a relationship with be a narcissist without you realising?
That’s the intriguing question posed in a new book by Melbourne author Melanie Tonia Evans, published in the UK this week.
The internationally acclaimed narcissistic abuse recovery expert and the founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program insists that the signs can be almost impossible spot until you’ve suffered significant abuse because it’s so difficult to understand people who are wired so differently.
“Most of us tend to think that narcissists are merely self-absorbed people with over-inflated egos who are in love with themselves, but nothing could be further from the truth,” she explained.
“Many of us might never have imagined we’d come across individuals who don’t feel remorse or guilt for their actions, and who will do whatever it takes to gratify the demands of their egos by securing money, attention, contacts, sex, attention and possessions – all without giving any thought for how their actions might affect others.”
If you are having any doubts about whether or not you are involved with someone with NPD, these are the five key warning signs to look out for.
1. Emotional insecurity
Despite the commonly held belief that “narcissists are full of themselves”, it’s a different reality once their mask has started to crack.
Narcissists are hugely insecure and react on a hairtrigger to things that average adults simply don’t get upset about. Their over-sensitivity is extreme.
When narcissists erupt into a narcissistic rage, their anger is a reaction to a perceived threat to the narcissist’s fragile self-esteem or self-worth. This type of threat is known as “narcissistic injury”.
Perhaps you spoke appreciatively about a colleague – and all of a sudden the narcissist is ripping your head off for being disloyal, or even accuses you of having an affair?
If the narcissist doesn’t receive enough attention in a group setting, he or she may stir up trouble or exit the scene, only to chastise you later and degrade you and anyone else perceived to have stolen the limelight.
This insecurity may be so extreme that it provokes incredible jealousy and envy that can’t be assuaged.
2. Extreme sense of entitlement
If you share your life with a narcissist, you will quickly discover they have an unreasonable sense of entitlement – it truly is all about them – and very poor peripheral vision when it comes to anyone else’s needs.
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