How you know you’re not the narcissist: your proof
‘How do I know I’m not the narcissist???’ I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this frantic question. But let me tell you. Asking yourself this is a testament to the fact that the narcissist is inside your head, and the abuse is working.
It’s also clear evidence that you are simply not a narcissist.
Reading these few words isn’t going to convince you though, right?
I’m guessing that for you to be asking yourself this, your journey of recovery has progressed to the point where you’ve done a heap of reading on narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
You’re at the stage where you have a solid handle on the disorder, its symptoms, and the manipulation strategies used in narcissistic abuse.
This must be the case or you wouldn’t be worried that you are narcissistic, as the phenomenon and associated behaviours wouldn’t mean all that much to you right now.
With all the information you’ve gathered, and more importantly because of the narcissist’s brainwashing about who and what you are, the question niggles at you…you are scanning yourself, your behaviours, things you’ve done and haven’t done that could just be classified as narcissistic…and here you are slap bang in the middle of freakoutsville.
This article assumes these two things: 1) that you are pretty clear on NPD (for terminology refreshers check out the Glossary), and 2) the thought of being a narc scares the crap out of you.
Here is your big dose of logic that YOU ARE NOT THE NARC!
Reasons you ask “How do I know I’m not the narcissist?”
The methods the narcissist uses to erode your understanding and belief in who you are, are all focused on breaking your spirit, and to maintain power and control over you. They do this for several reasons.
The first is to feed their addiction which is to secure external confirmation of their beliefs. This drives the need for constant reinforcement from you (and all that surround them) that they are superior, special, omnipotent, and entitled to all they desire in this world. This is the ‘supply’ the narcissist needs to survive.
The second key reason is to ensure your disempowerment. After all, so long as you feel this way, you believe you are trapped in the relationship with them.
It also means that your resistance to satisfying their addiction by meeting all their demands, is low to nil. Supplying the narc becomes your priority, as it is and always will be theirs.
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