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Not Many People Will Tell You The Truth Like This Lady

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I can’t let National Eating Disorder Awareness Week pass without celebrating how far I’ve come. I post this not for me, but for you…yes, YOU. The one reading this right now worried that there is no hope beyond your own destructive, secretive, and hellish eating disorder.
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There. Is. Hope.
Everything is going to be okay. I promise.
You are not alone.
You are beautiful and worthy…even WITH your struggles.
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In the depths of my own eating disorder, I never thought in a million years I would be happy with who I was. “Weight, scales, body image, exercise, food, dieting, restricting, binging, purging, fear, failure,” were just a handful of awful words that would plague my mind daily for over a decade as I battled the strongest of opponents: MYSELF.
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I fought these damn demons each and every day. Each day attempting to release myself from the hell I was living. Each day striving for a healthier life.
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Day after day, month after month, year after year, I failed. Each failed attempt was proof that I’d always suffer, and that I would never live a “normal” life. Many time worrying my body could handle the stress I was giving it, and that maybe I wouldn’t make it to the next day.
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The picture on the left is me at 17 in the place I mentioned above. This wasn’t even the worst of it…fast forward 6 years—I was married with a baby on the way and still didn’t have my crap together. Still hiding.
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Becoming a mother, learning to be selfless, and opening my eyes to the power of VULNERABILITY were a few of the best things that ever happened to me. Without vulnerability + courage, healing cannot happen.
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Two kids, one divorce, a new husband, and two more kids later, I am healthier than ever before. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. While it has been a slow journey, the fact that I’m eating 2400 calories a day to build muscle will never be anything short of a miracle to me…because the thought of increasing size absolutely terrified me before!
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At 33 years old and 25 lbs. heavier than I’ve been the majority of my adult life, I feel sexier, stronger, more beautiful and confident than ever before. Yeah, I might have a little more cellulite and wear a couple of sizes larger, but I can lift heavy weights and carry someone on my back without feeling like I’m gonna’ break. 😉
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I can’t see these pictures side-by-side without getting emotional…thanking GOD that I’m not suffering now like I did for so many years. Also thanking God for giving others hope through sharing my story.
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For ANYONE out there struggling with the feeling of insanity the comes along with an eating disorder, please know there is hope. ❤️ Do not suffer alone…GET HELP. Asking for help is a sign of strength and courageousness, and is the first step to healing.






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