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Why the Narcissist Seems to Hate You, But Won’t Let You Go

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Being the target of narcissistic hatred is the most confusing experience you’ll have in your life.  It’s wrought with ironies, opposites, and sleight of hand.

Just when you think you’ve come out of the nightmare, you wake up in the middle of another one and there doesn’t seem to be any relief in sight.

It’s absolutely soul-shattering to give your all to the narcissist and feel like you’ve finally made some progress in getting through to them, only for them to smack you down with the most hateful, scathing episode to date.

It’s as though they truly hate you down to the core of your soul.  As if they can barely stand to be in the same room with you or breathing the same air as you…and they probably have told you this in so many words, but you are so traumatized by the sheer spite in their voice during these episodes, you have a hard time remembering everything they said.

The irony is that just when things seem to be truly over, and you’ve accepted in your heart and soul that it’s time to move on, the narcissist changes back to being seemingly nice, perhaps even affectionate.

It’s so utterly confusing.  Why do they do this?  Are they a tortured soul who is so wounded that they just can’t help it?  Is there anything at all you can do to speak to the wounded inner self the narcissist appears to hide, buried deep within them?

As a person who loves the narcissist, it’s usually easier to believe they have no control over these conflicting behaviors.  We can identify with what we believe is their inner pain…but this is a story we tell ourselves.  A story which keeps us enmeshed with them in a tempestuous cycle of insane highs and lows that ultimately depletes us of our very soul.

There is a reason they do this, but it’s hard to digest.  Sometimes, though, we need the truth because it’s the one thing that can finally set us free.

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